Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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