We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
