All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
