11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
