ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
