I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
