areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
