I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize