I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
