He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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