The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
