No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
This house was built for laser tag.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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