i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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