Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
