I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
