is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize