Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
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