she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
