The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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