it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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