Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
