Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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