So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
