I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize