well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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