Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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