worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
