You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
