through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
