erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
