did you get engaged???
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
