Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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