ugly people sure do ruin things
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
