some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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