I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Green mimosas i think yes
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
