so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Barsexuality is the new black.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
