okay pat passed out under dana's car
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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