Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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