Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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