And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize