Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
