there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
