So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
