Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
