How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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