ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
