The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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