Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
bring money and cleavage
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
