I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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