CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
