We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
