I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
