The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize