it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
