We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
