U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I had to cum in my sink.
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