talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
