I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
