She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
