i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize