i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
