Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
