sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
