I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
