my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
