So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize