We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Is it penis luge time yet?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The uberlube is also flammable
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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