omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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