my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize