I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
its not stalking. its research.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
