Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
