READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
