For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
