Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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