ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He better not be in your backpack
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
