We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
