Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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