somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize